Dear Feelings,
You suck. If there were a way to get rid of you, I would, post-haste. I’d make a trade with Rumpelstiltskin and pay whatever price he asked, just for a vial of that potion he gave Snow to get rid of her love. Because this pain and confusion is not worth it. Not when you decide to play against each other and have happiness and love squaring off against doubt and hopelessness. What makes it even worse is that you collaborate with Memory, and then the two of you wreak havoc in my mind. And it’s not a one-time thing, you do this quite frequently.
Do you know how much trouble you cause? Do you know how utterly lost you leave me at the end? Of course you don’t, or you wouldn’t be doing this in the first place. Then again, maybe you do know, and just do it anyway, because you’re a sadistic little brat. I wouldn’t put it past you.
But you know why I really, really hate you? Because you have managed to convince me, beyond and above everything that I hold to and believe in, that somehow it all comes down to me. That I am not enough. That I will never be enough. And that’s not fair. To me or to anyone I hope to ever even be friends with, let alone date. It’s just. Not. Fair.
So you know what, Feelings? You can go screw yourself. Because while you make me feel like shit, while you are very real, you also lie. Because I am enough. For someone. And even if you trick me into doubting my very existence, I will still come out on top because I have people who aren’t affected by you. They probably have their own shitty Feelings, but that don’t have mine. And so even when you leave me broken, they can put me back together. Even when I forget that I ever wrote this letter, they will remind me and help me to hope.
And you’re not /all/ bad. You do give me good times. You do make me smile and blush and laugh till my tummy hurts and tears leak out. You do let me see good and love and hope. You do help. So I guess, what I’m trying to say is, I won’t take Rumpel’s deal. You can be a bitch, but hey, we’re stuck with each other. May as well try to work together on the good days, and be separate entities on the bad. Let’s just try and keep the bad to a minimum, huh? Don’t work with Memory on the bad days, and tone down the doubt and paranoia and hurt and the guilt, just a tad. Please.
Sincerely,
Me.
Do you know how much trouble you cause? Do you know how utterly lost you leave me at the end? Of course you don’t, or you wouldn’t be doing this in the first place. Then again, maybe you do know, and just do it anyway, because you’re a sadistic little brat. I wouldn’t put it past you.
But you know why I really, really hate you? Because you have managed to convince me, beyond and above everything that I hold to and believe in, that somehow it all comes down to me. That I am not enough. That I will never be enough. And that’s not fair. To me or to anyone I hope to ever even be friends with, let alone date. It’s just. Not. Fair.
So you know what, Feelings? You can go screw yourself. Because while you make me feel like shit, while you are very real, you also lie. Because I am enough. For someone. And even if you trick me into doubting my very existence, I will still come out on top because I have people who aren’t affected by you. They probably have their own shitty Feelings, but that don’t have mine. And so even when you leave me broken, they can put me back together. Even when I forget that I ever wrote this letter, they will remind me and help me to hope.
And you’re not /all/ bad. You do give me good times. You do make me smile and blush and laugh till my tummy hurts and tears leak out. You do let me see good and love and hope. You do help. So I guess, what I’m trying to say is, I won’t take Rumpel’s deal. You can be a bitch, but hey, we’re stuck with each other. May as well try to work together on the good days, and be separate entities on the bad. Let’s just try and keep the bad to a minimum, huh? Don’t work with Memory on the bad days, and tone down the doubt and paranoia and hurt and the guilt, just a tad. Please.
Sincerely,
Me.
